I think I've had it. I've had enough of having a finger pointed at me because so much of the majority doesn't want to have the hard conversation. I am tired of being in rooms where people just want to avoid the truth. There is an elephant in your home and in your business, it's there when you are speaking to your children or your parents. There is a big black hole full of what isn't said lurking behind and inside you. What we are taught to believe is that if you avoid and hide it enough, life will appear to be wonderful and you won't have to hurt anyone or more importantly, yourself. What a HUGE freaking lie. What a terrible lie we pass down through the generations. Avoiding and medicating it is clearly not working, we know that. And yet, instead of helping each other by telling our truths, we lie and self medicate more. The only way to find solid ground is to teach each other how to handle the struggle. The only thing missing is our gumption to actually step out of our tiny boxes and realize that we were blessed with the intelligence to sincerely deal with what comes our way. I can say with certainty, that the only way to move forward in this life is by stepping straight into the muck and teaching yourself to wade through it with your eyes ahead. I can say with honesty, If you don't, you will stay stuck. Leaning into struggle and tackling it head on is the only way to overcome the adversity. It is the only way to find solid ground. Stop being afraid, lean in.
Some of us need to stop holding everything in. Unsaid words create resentment and resentment creates tiny cracks that turn into wide breaks in relationships. Families fall apart because of resentment, marriages lose their way because of it, and most of all you lose yourself. The unsaid and the undone are the start of a breeding ground for unhappiness and hate. So much love ruined by the wrong perspective. So many lives struggling because no one was there to teach us how to swallow our need to avoid. Stop avoiding that conversation. Stop avoiding the hard truth. Stop avoiding the ones that you love. Break out of the norm that you aren't allowed to say what you are thinking because someone might not like it. Of course they won't, at first. Until we teach each other that it is okay to feel and think and be outside the box, we will continuously deal with people who want what's normal and acceptable. I am more tired of those words than any I have heard. There are billions of humans on this planet and I promise we all think differently, there is no normal. You are not different because what we share in each other is that we are all different.
This isn't an easy task and it's not one dimensional, It deals with self confidence and self trust. It connects you to all the brackets of emotional intelligence. You will be faced with those moments of self doubt and anxiety. You will feel like something is splitting you open from the inside. Wade through it, feel it, and move forward. Those are not unknown feelings and they do pass. Have confidence in yourself. Create strong relationships of honesty and build foundations of trust. In yoga, tree pose is where you find your grounding and strength. In life, truth is where you find yours. Tell your truth, and find your tribe that accepts you and builds you up. Build up your tribe. Help them find their truth and to always speak in it, help them lean in to life. If you are lucky enough to have a family that loves you, show them appreciation and respect by opening up that black hole and letting them in. Tell your significant other how you feel, even when it's hard. Let's start changing the world by bringing a more sincere and fearless self.
I always tell myself that tomorrow is a new day, and therefore it will always be the start of a better me and a brighter future. I will wake up tomorrow and try to bring a more authentic self to the table of life. I will try harder to be more present and aware. I will try to hold myself to a higher standard; while still loving myself and the process. Try, all I'm saying here is that we need to try. Embrace our humanity and embrace the humanity in others. Remind yourself that in truth we find real love and respect. The more we lie to ourselves and to the world, the more we hold ourselves back. Let's all try to be a bit more open, a bit more honest.
Sometime this week, I hope you all find the courage to say what needs to be said. Maybe some of us need to write a letter or send an email. Maybe you need to make a phone call or pay someone a visit. There might come a moment with your child or your co-worker where you have a choice whether or not to be sincere or to hide, but I hope that you choose to show up. I hope that you choose to start leaning into life and handling it head on.
Emotional Intelligence By Daniel Goleman Ph.D.
The Four Agreements By don Miguel Ruiz